I'm finally really tired. Most of the time, I'd always say that I'm tired with dealing with all these nonsense. But this time around, I'm actually really tired, physically and mentally drained from dealing with it. Not just saying it anymore. And somehow I'm used to how things are going now.
Love shouldn't hurt they say, but then again every rule has an exemption, because with him it does. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel the word everyone is making a big fuss about, so then I wouldn't get hurt. Believe me love is not all it's cracked up to be. Half of the time you'd just be crying the other half wiping the tears and in between those a few smiles. I myself used to think that when you're in love, you'd hear the birds singing but the only thing i heard was the hollow echo in my being. I thought the sky would turn blue but it turned grey and rained on me. I thought that my eye would be sparkling with joy but it only glistened with the tears. Why do we have to love someone who could never love us back and why do we dream when we know that those we have woven will cease to be but a dream? I'm not saying that love is a bad thing, it never is. What bad is when you fall in love nad the person does not fall in love back. I wish that someday I could be in love again without have to shed a single tear and wish that if I do, love would not hurt as bad.
It's a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them and they simply don't need you at all. Yes, I feel this way every single day. I wake up thinking about him, I go through my day waiting and anticipating for him to start a conversation with me, and I usually end my day being disappointed.
And I'm glad and proud of my heart. Used, stabbed, betrayed, hurt and whatever you can name, it's still working with some pain.
Glad that I'm still able to put on a smile. (:
