Finals are finally over. Did one of my final presentation yesterday. After so much lack of sleep for the past one whole week. I napped from 1-6pm! And then slept from 4am-12pm. Feels good that I can sleep till whatever time I want! :D
Something funny happened last night when I was at SS2. Two ladies knocked on my car window, and asked if I know how to speak mandarin. I said no, even when I know. She continued to yap away.
She said "Don't worry, I'm not here to scam you. I'm from Beijing China and I can't seem to find my friend. Can I seek for your help for some money so I can eat and go through tonight?" Honestly does she think I'd fall for it? Whats more funny is, I saw her coming out from a Myvi like 10 cars away from mine. What a joke!
Anyhowwwww, I went to Ou with Kimee today. Shopped a little, and had yummeh lunch at Delicious! Went over to Empire to settle the gym stuff and I'm back at home. I somehow am thinking so much about this one month of holidays. There's so much that I want to do yet so little time and moneh! I absolutely know that I need to catch up with some friends that I haven't been in contact for a very long time. And also, there's so many things that I want. I feel like working for it, but at the same time I know that my dad wouldn't be happy about me working. ): So I guess it's no to working and yes to cutting down the things I want. Oh well, I'll just deal with whatever I have! :)
This time around I'm not drained from being at the gym. Haven't been to the gym for almost a week now. But will be resuming after the finals. Finals giving me a headache. There seems like there's really so much to read but actually, I can't seem to focus at all. I try to 'study' but I end up chatting, facebooking and whatever you can think of. Oh yeah, tumblr too! Hmmm.
Been spending a lottttt on Starbucks. I go there for 'studies'. Lol. More like just for the stamps!
Ice Caffe mocha, low fat which I can never finish it because at one point it gets bitter and I don't like it but I order it cause it's low in calories. So yeah, most of the time I leave it like the above. ): How I miss caramel frap. ):
Hmmm, there's 7 stamps there. That means 5 more to go. And I certainly do not want to drink the peppermint mocha. Apparently it kinda suck. ): Can cute baristas be really nice to me and help me stamp the peppermint mocha instead? :D Hahaha!
Just for the album. (;
I honestly cant wait for the finals. Partly cause its the holidays, and also cause I cant wait to be going to the gym. Hopefully I live up to my words and go like 6 days a week and if I can, I'd be more than happy to go for 7 days. These pounds gotta go! ):
Copywriting tomorrow, hmmm. It's like I have all the knowledge behind my head but I know I'm gonna walk into the hall and go all blank. It ALWAYS happens. ): Wish me luck!
Without fail, every single day I feel tired. And sometimes I actually wonder if I'm really tired or am I assuming that I'm tired. Confusing ain't it? Yeah, I'm weird like that. Supposingly, Thursday has no class. But this week, we had extra class since the finals are just around the corner. Went anyway, and got briefed about the exam. Trust me, I actually feel scared about it. Apparently, MRM has high failure rate. So yeah I'm hoping to pass. Not with flying colours or any shit like that, but I just want to PASS. For the first time through out my whole course, I have 5 papers to sit for. All 5 subjects I took had finals. Hmmm, kinda hectic!
On the other side, the scale isn't doing me any good. Every time I weigh myself I get a little disappointed. Well yeah, it doesn't happen over night. But oh well, maybe I'm just rushing things. (: Hee. I went to Pyramid alone after class today. Walking aimlessly. No direction of any sort. And I don't even know why I went there in the first place. Maybe I just didn't wanna go home. Pft. Feeling sleepy as I type, but I better complete my studies before I nap or do anything at all. ):
"Sometimes I feel that people don't understand me.
But more often than not, it's me who don't understand myself."
Why is it that I'm never good enough? Not good enough for you, you, HIM, her, that group and basically just every one lah. Pisses me off. Gym ain't doing me any good. I need to push myself to the edge of the cliff, where I'm about to fall. I'm always very tempted to give up. I don't find the reason to do things this way. I should be enjoying the process of it, but it seems like it's a torture and a burden. ): The 'stop' button on the treadmill is always so tempting. I'm always tempted to just click the 'stop' button and walk away. But I always keep myself motivated. Find some shit to say to my mind.
Sometimes I wish I wouldn't just pay attention to my flaws. But that's all I see in myself. I don't know how did my confidence go down the drain, but it somehow did anyway. Maybe perfection is all I'm looking for, but I guess perfection doesn't really exist, does it? Maybe not in my own world. ): Pftt.
I think I should stop talking so much and keep every thing to myself. Even if I were to talk, no one really cares anyway. ):
It's funny how you know when you're doing something which is oh-so-wrong and yet you still do it. I've always held on to a few principles of my own. Seems like I've already broke a few of it. I don't know when will I break all of it. I won't be surprised. (: It's also funny how it's easier to give advice than to take advices. When someone has a problem, i can write an essay of 10 pages of what they can do. But when I need to apply them to myself? Hmmm. That's going to be a problem.
Went gym today despite the fact that people are telling me that I'm over doing it. But oh well, no pain no gain! Bought some groceries for my apparent healthy diet. And also bought my dinner from O'briens. Had only one piece of sandwich at 10am.
Yeah, everyone knows O'briens is oh-so-healthy blablablabla and shits like that. Gave it a try, ate a quarter of the sandwich. Then I googled the calories the sandwich contained. CAME TO MY SURPRISE. MAMACHUTS! 1177.5 calories. I swear I died a little when I saw it. Honestly I felt pretty bad for consuming it! Never again to O'Briens! Even a plate of aglio olio only containts 450-500 calories. Yes I'm sounding like some freak right now, but yeah. Deal with me! ;D
Don't have my car tomorrow, I still want to go to the gym. And I'll find a way to go to the gym anyway. ):
Lazy Sunday. I've been working out for three days straight. 1 to 1 and a half hour of cardio every single day. And also sauna. I must say my leg does hurt from doing all this. But then again, no pain no gain. Still, I'm afraid if I'll get cardiac arrest or i'll tear my muscle. *Drama* Hahah!
Woke up and felt like shit. Many random thoughts went through my head. And I just kept motivating myself. Telling myself why I'm doing this. Was thinking of going to the gym, but as I got out of bed, I realized that my legs are dead painful. I could hardly walk! Am I over working the gym thing? For once, I feel so determined to do something. And I told myself that I must achieve it no matter what. Even if it takes me a year! Looking on the bright side, the scale is making me happy every morning. I just gotta continue being persistent and of course I've gotta be more and more determined to make this work.
All this while, I've never really told my dad about going to the gym. I know how much he'd disagree about gym because my sister signed up for a two year contract and didn't make use of it. So I planned with my mom to make it work. Pay by cash or some shit like that instead of the credit card. But over the talk after brunch today, I finally told my dad that I'd be signing up for gym. Hahaha, just as I guessed, the first phrase which he said was "HELLO! I'm already paying 100 something for someone's gym!" And then there goes my sister adding some oil to the fire, "Yeah, she's gonna be like me. She won't go!" Lol. It goes on and on and on! But then again, no objection from my dad after I told him the price. He seems fine with it. And now my job is just to utilize it.
I got kinda pissed in the car earlier because I might not have my car in December. Reason? My dad wants to drive the other car, resulting to my sister taking my car and the only car left at home is my dad's love so I cant touch it. Not only I can't go out. Cannot go gym also is it? As if my morning wasn't bad enough.
"The genuine smile that have yet to return."
This is the reason why I'm going through hell.
I need a hobby, I think I've found it. Most of the time, all I ever do is stay home, go online and EAT. I can't go out too often, Uncle Peter goes crazy if I do so. I needed to do something that doesn't revolve around home and yet being out won't result to scolding. GYM. Though yes, it costs quite a sum. But I guess, you get good results in return.
Been to the gym for the past few days. All I ever did was push myself to the max. Till the extend when I get off from the treadmill, I actually feel like I'm flying. One hour on the treadmill. Gradient at 10 on and off. Slow walk, fast walk, jog, run, slow walk..... and it goes on. Followed by 15 minutes of endurance elliptical and 15 minutes of sauna. Am I gonna die from working out like this? Okay, perhaps it's not that extreme. But my legs are sore. I'm still very persistent in losing weight.
On the bright side, some people actually think I'm stupid. Not knowing that I'd find out. But well, guess again SUCKER! (:
Honestly I don't know how to trust people anymore. All they ever do is talk behind your back. Regardless of whatever good deeds you've done or how you've helped them. What more guys, the more I've lost trust. Can never understand how can a guy cheat on their girlfriend. And I mean I can NEVEEEEER understand that.
I need a goddamn hobby to keep my mind off all the nonsense! All I ever do when I'm free is think of nonsense and think of what a bad person I am. And how I'm not good enough and shits like that. And every time I see someone pretty/skinny, I tend to ask myself why am I not half or even quarter as good as her. ):
College been keeping me busy. With a lot of assignments in hand. Exam around the corner before I get this sem over with! Honestly can't wait for exams to be over. ;D
A lot has been going through my mind. Went the extra mile and came to a lot of conclusions. But yet the vision is unclear of what's right and what's wrong ): Help?
So empty that I don't even know what to write. Sometimes I realised that I'm so problematic till an extend that I wonder if it's a sickness. There are times when I don't feel like talking to people at all. There are times that I'm so hyperactive. Seriously? What's wrong with me? Most of my days are filled with anger. I get angry at myself and I stay that way. ): I stared blankly on this page before I started anything. Thinking of what to write besides ranting about how my life sucks. ):
I'm slightly demotivated with everything right now. I can't wait for holidays. I think I actually need some 'ME' time. I need to some stuff alone, shop alone, enjoy alone, be happy alone. Or perhaps I just need a break. I need a holiday, I want the beach! ): Langkawi would seriously be good enough for me. Not asking for much! I need a holidayyyyy! ): Cant wait to get this sem over and done with. ):
Cameron Highlands with the familia last two weeks! Was there for 2 days and enjoyed every second of it! Stopped by at my mom's hometown, Kampar!
They have this really cute egg tarts. So small and taste good too! :D
Apparent, famous dude who fry the noodles as he sits down. Nothing special about his food anyway.
I love these two photos above.
Honestly, going to 'Rose Valley' literally wasted my time. But then again, it started to rain shortly after we were done. Went back to our house settled down and everyone was too lazy to go out already. It was freezing cold! Brrrrr. Some napped, some watched tv, some just sat and chat. Did nothing till it was dinner time.
Barbeque was supper, it made things so much better! So warm!
Strawberry farm the next day. Very obvious, there wasn't any strawberries for my to pluck. I was so disappointed! Because the last time I went, there was so much strawberries! And it was so fun to be plucking them yourselves! Though it may be more expensive! But it's fun! :P
): This is the reason why.
Went to the market outside the strawberry farm. At Brinchang I think? No idea, but yeah. They have these really huge strawberries! :D Which made up to my disappointment at the strawberry farm! Hahaha. The next stop would be Bala's chalet. It's usually for backpackers, but I make it a must visit every time we go Cameron because their scones are to die for! Pretty expensive I'd say. Two scones and a cup of tea for RM22.50. But worth every penny!
One and only!
This is a reason why Bala's chalet is awesome! I specifically told my mom that it was a must to go to Bala's chalet even if we would have to leave Cameron at 4pm. Because the initial plan was to go to the Boh plantation before the strawberry farm. But there was a pretty heavy traffic along to way, so we turned back.
Even writing this right now makes me think about the scones. Nyammm! That's was pretty much everything. Simple, relaxing and breezy!
"Courage is when you’re afraid, but you keep on moving anyway. Courage is when you’re in pain, but you keep on living anyway. Courage is when you’ve lost your way, but you find your strength anyway."
Just like any other ordinary day where I had to drag myself out of bed for a miserable one hour class in the morning and then followed by a 4 hour long break where I just had to come back to Subang for the break! Pft.
Went to check out the gym after class in the morning. I don't know what am I going for, but yeah I simply need to do something to myself. I need to freaking improve or not I'd be feeling so insecure and that isn't doing me any good. ): I wish things would be easier on me.
Should I say this is a brand new start? I stopped blogging for a while and to be honest I stopped blogging because there was just too much memories in this place. Spent the past two years writing in here. Be it happy or sad.
Decided to start blogging all over again because I ought to need a place to rant my things. Though blogging may not be one of the latest thingy majeeky. But I'm back to my old roots. Where I write my piece of mind in this place. Not knowing who's reading and what's going on through people's mind when they're reading it. And at least I know that by writing here, I get to express what I cant seem to express in person.
I may not be the best writer, and there's gonna be mistakes here and there. Please bare with me. I have all the patience in the world to learn. (or maybe not) ;p Let's just hope that I'll constantly be blogging. I don't know how often I'm gonna blog, but I guess I'll try ;D