Because xanga was being such a fucking pain in the ass and due to desperate calls I am actually blogging in tengtengtengteng because I think I actually have a lot of things to say but just dont know how to express myself.
Its great that I am done with Science and now i am just left with maths. Its very obvious that I am not ready for it because I cant do most of it without guidance and I pity myself for being so stupid. After so many classes, so many times of repeating the same question, I STILL CANNOT DO IT. I hate the fact that I cant do simple things. Not only that my tutor for math and arts are also driving me up the wall. They are killing practically 99.9% of my living cells.
Despite all this that have been happening, I am finally having lets say 2 days break from studies, books, papers, equations, numbers and shits like that. Gahhh! You know at one point I was so disappointed at myself that I nearly broke down and cry. But I had to be strong, I held it back till I got home, sigh. Why am I so weak in the inside but so strong in the outside? :(
Sigh, all my text messages, IMs etc are all 'sigh', 'haih', 'i'm sad' or some other shits like that. Pft. Its very depressing knowing that I am not an option to anyone. Not even a priority. If you guys followed my xanga, you guys would remember the phrase "Why make someone your priority when you're not even an option to them?
" Yeah, I dont think I ever did stand as an option or priority to someone. Not even near, was I ever important? Sigh.
Its even more sad to know that I am always left hanging. I dont get a clear picture of whats going on nor do I even know what is there to do next. Thanks to that one person who made me lose my confidence, my sense, my tears, my time and got me out of my mind. I appreciate it from the bottom of my fucking broken heart, thats if you can ever see it back to one.
Okay, i hate xanga. Remember that :)