Despite the fact that I'm not Christian so I don't exactly celebrate Christmas, but I've always loved Christmas. I don't exactly know why. But it gives me a really warm feeling and it just makes me want to celebrate it with a loved one. It's not like other festive seasons! It's not like Chinese New Year, CNY doesn't give you a warm feeling, it doesn't make you want to celebrate with a particular loved one. When you hear CNY, you know it's about people. Lotsa people, family, friends and lotsa havoc. Nothing beats the feeling that Christmas gives.
I've got Christmas pretty much planned out. But of course, it didn't turn out the way I thought it would be or the way I wanted it to be. Well, am I disappointed? No, not at all. I get disappointed so often that I don't feel disappointed anymore and I can perfectly say that I'm used to it. But it's alright, I expected it to happen anyway. No one to blame but myself. For putting in hope, expectation, anticipation and my heart&soul into believing that he wouldn't disappoint me because he said he wouldn't.
My idea of a happy christmas didn't materialize, but it's alright. I should have seen this coming. And no I'm not gonna keep dwelling in this nonsense. (: Wherever you may be, Merry Christmas my love. xox.
with all the I'm alright(s). You would probably know I'm actually not alright at all.