I know all I ever blog about is how heart broken I am, how he's treating me and shit like that. But trust me, this is the only place that I can express. Friends are bored of knowing, and well this blog is basically the only place I can express my feelings. );
It sucks to feel lonely. The feeling where no one is there for you. Not friends, not even family. Broke down to tears when I was home alone last night. Tears just kept flowing, yes, as strong as I may look on the outside, I'm actually a weakling. I cry for the most tiny problem. And that pretty much sucks. What more I've been so attached to him, I got used to having him. But then all of a sudden I have no one at all to talk to. ); Pft.
And what's worse is, I think he's finally giving up trying to keep me. Not that he's been putting any effort. Just that back then, he still calls and stuff like that. Now, he couldn't even be bothered. And it's sad that I'm trying to walk away and he's not even doing anything about it. It sucks. And you know, I always think it's the timing problem. We started meeting and talking too soon. It's just the wrong timing, if only he were to find me a year later when he's emotionally stable. For now, he's just not over it and I'm the rebound that didn't make it. And if in the future, when he has moved on I know I won't be the girl that he'll be with. Simply because of the wrong timing. And I'm upset. Because he was who I really wanted. Oh well, let fate decide. ); I guess this pretty much marks the end of it. And yet I'm still thinking of ways to keep him, to make him come back to me. It's not worth it. I know. ); But.... sigh! I'll just let it be for now.
I'm struggling to go through every day. It's hard when whatever I do, every little thing will remind me of him. Even things like fish reminds me of him. Urgh! Cant take myself anymore. );