Interests of many, masters of none.
Hahahah! My dad said that to me the other day! I can't help it that I have interest in a lot of things right? No? I like make up! Yes I do. Because it does wonders. I love photography, but I'm not a professional. I like acting, but I don't have the talent YET.
Oh well, I am actually in fear of going to my driving school for undang test and also that stupid amali ceramah. Yes, I am scared of that person who fetches us to the place. He drives like a bull. But I guess, I should get it done as soon as possible instead of just dragging it.
(: Confession of a shopaholic, tomorrow! ;D
I are back! Yes, I came back from Kuantan! About 6pm. Anyhoooow, I am currently feeling irritated! Yes, very much. I can't stop thinking about it and when I actually do, it irritates the fuck out of me. And what's making the situation better is, the connection is like cheebye I tell you! I don't receive people's message and neither do they. And it leaves the whole conversation hanging.
You know what people say about "You don't miss the water till the well runs dry"? I guess people don't know how to appreciate the things that they have, the people who exist in their life, including everything that they own.
For an example ; You wouldn't know how good your previous boyf was not until you date another sucky guy! ; Having a bad day makes you realise that yesterday was a so-so day that you didn't appreciate!
Regrets often happen. Well not for the things that you've did, but for the things you didn't do. You often regret more about not doing something rather than doing something. Am I right? Well, this is almost like mother nature! It occurs to everyone!
In desperate need of a peaceful vacation.
I take my words back about keeping myself away from the traffic. The traffic here is bad, but just not as bad! I had satay for dinner, yummy yum yum! It was tasty! :D I've taken it then when I was here some time ago, and I couldn't forget about how tasty it was! :P
You know what, I don't want to receive any compliments about me losing weight. Please don't tell me I did. Because I realised that, when people tend to compliment me with that, I eat more! Though I was eating like this before anyone commented about it. But now, I somehow feel that I am eating more. I am just trying to maintain my eating habits :P
Whats gonna be up for me tomorrow? The beach perhaps? ;P
- Blogging live from Kuantan with the great power of Maxis Broadband ;P
All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long
Baby I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I wont pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you're sorry
But i won't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no
Looking so innocent
I might believe if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being the last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause its worked each time before
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But i watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
Taylor Swift - You're not sorry.
(: This is like the current fav song! It keeps repeating on the play list.
(only because i clicked the repeat button -_-) Anyhoow, I am taking a break. Apart from the hectic life in KL. A break from the traffic, the people and the expensive lifestyle. :P I'll be going to Kuantan later in the afternoon. Just for three days. I hope I'll get to enjoy the sea breeze. At least I'll be on a holiday to keep my mind away from nonsense?
Just the other day I had a craving for ice-cream. Just now I was craving for Ferrero Rocher. I got my sister to buy it for me though. Lucky me! But...... What's with all the sweet things? Hmmm.
I keep watching 100% Entertainment on youtube. Xiao Gui (Alien Wong) and Xiao Zhu (Show Luo) is superbly funny! Yes, I can sit in front of the pc and laugh alone just by watching their show! Also, on 100% Entertainment, I've came across Derrick Hoh. (: I like! ;D Besides, the show keeps me so entertained that I forget all my problems!
"You have no confidence. You're not even comfortable under your own skin. Its not that you have flaws, but you're just not giving yourself a chance. You keep putting yourself down. Its good to be humble, but not to the extend that you down grade yourself and keep on thinking you're not good enough."
The above is exactly what my friend said to me. I don't know how to build confidence, I don't know how to think that I am good for something! I don't know why I have no confidence, I don't know why I am always thinking about how bad I am, I don't know why do I always give myself negative comments, I have no idea why this is just the way things are! Well I guess there are a lot of things that has no explanations for the way it is.
Well, its about time that I should have straighten things up. In fact I should have done this long ago! I know, i say this over and over again but no actions are taken. But somehow, I wish I really would stop it because I know its really pulling me down!
*I totally just stoned here.*
First things first, let bygones be bygones. That person should be forgotten because he wasn't even real from the beginning. It was probably one of my wires that went wrong which made me believe those things he said. I know this person is amazing because he knows exactly when I want to let go, and that's when he comes talking to me. Well, I don't know if you've been reading my blog or you read minds. But I've been thinking a little too much, till the extend that it actually hurts! For the past 2 years+ I've not let anyone in except you. Well, to even begin with. We were never anything. Merely friends! No, I'm not blaming you. It was probably me who just think too much. (: I gave myself hope, I got myself into this mess and I should be getting myself out of it. Besides, maybe we're people from two different worlds, as cliche as it may sound.
It was you who made me forget the past I thought I never could. You were the one who made me open my heart once again when I thought I never will. I've tried to give my everything. I've tried my very best to be the best for you. You'll never know how it felt to be me. I am tired. Tired of trying. I've tried to pick up various broken pieces to mend it back and I'll tell myself, its just as good as new! I've tried, but I won't be trying anymore. As good as you may be, and as much as I love you, its coming to this end where I decide to officially let go. (: It was never easy to make a decision, including this.
19th April, 3rd year.
I think i am currently
pms-
ing. So if you freaking step on one of the wrong wires in me, you'll see me at my ultimate temperature and I'd then explode. So its better that you stay away from me for the time being.
I have too much things to think about. Things are pretty much unfair like always. People being very selfish and self-centered. I AM ANGRY.
pss, and you know whats even better? My iPod have to hang on me now. omg! So did my handphone! I don't know how or why. But it just did. Tell me about bad luck.
"If you don't keep moving at the difficult times, your self-doubt grows a hundred times bigger."
I find it true. At the difficult times, its when the problem pulls down your confidence. You have no confidence to do anything at all because at that very moment, everything is negative! There's not one spot for you think of the positives!
I somehow am not the usual me anymore. I don't have to be online 24-7, but I must go online at least once a day. I used to be in front of the computer like forever! Its funny how I am not like that anymore.
I used to write quotes and some rubbish type of lyrics. But now, I have no more about what more to write about. Pft. I still remembered back in xanga, I often end every posting with a quote at the end. But now, its different, I cant think of anything to write no more :(
*5 minutes*
I actually have a lot of problems in hand. Deciding on which college to go to is not easy. This place not good, that place not good. This place too far, that place too expensive. Where do you expect me to go?
I need to go see a doctor. No, not a psychologist though. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not crazy yet.
I've gotta build some confidence, increase my low self-esteem, gain some balls to do something extraordinary, lose those extra pounds, make myself a better person and not forgetting perhaps a well deserving vacation! Please, someone bring me somewhere where I can see the stars, smell the sea breeze and enjoy the sunrise.
I am just thinking too much, I really can't help it. I think I know what's my problem but I think I don't. Sigh. I guess I pretty much know whats wrong, I just hope I get to overcome it. Pft.
Toodles.
Got my sister into bringing me to Inti's open day today. But I must say that, the guy who attended to us wasn't convincing at all. With every question me and my sister asked, he answer with yes,no or maybe with a sentence that has less than 10 words?
Decided to head to Taylor's after that. Though office hours closes at 4pm, but this gentleman still continued to attend to us till 5.30! He's a marketing communicator. He's good, and he's very convincing. He's funny, and he talks so well. He explained every single detail. He could tell that I was confused and undecided. Haha.
Will be checking out Utar's open day tomorrow. And perhaps will pay a second visit to KDU & Segi again. Oh well, its hard making a decision.
"As I quickly discovered, nobody automatically believes in your dream. Nobody! You have to turn it into reality through your own sheer grit, bullheadedness and persistence."
This is a definite. I am sure that you've probably seen this situation in movies. Well, its when you tell someone your dream career and they laugh at you. Which would definitely pull your confidence down eyh. Yes, it often happens. Just to everyone. Only because everyone can dream. And they might have aimed a little higher. But believe me, nothing is impossible. Champagne dreams will only materialize if you really do the work. (;
Supposingly I should have a lot to talk about, but due to the lack of time. I have to keep things short and then leave the others to another posting. I hope I still remember what I wanted to say. I don't know what happened to me. But for the entire day, I didn't even sat in front of the computer for more than half an hour. I did something and then went offline and I just listened to music. Joanna Wang's voice is marvelous.
I was saying I don't have much time is because I should be sleeping by now because I will be having my FIVE hour kursus tomorrow for driving. Yes, I finally took the first step. While reading Kimora's book today (Yes, I haven't complete it.) she wrote that people often go through hardship while trying to accomplish something. But then put it in this way, no matter how hard it would be, think of it after its completed. The satisfying result and so so so. So yeah, I guess I am thinking of how I will flying and not coming home. CHEYH! Hahah, though I already signed up a few days ago. :P
Okay, i will blog again tomorrow! ;)
Anyway, we had dinner at Fridays yesterday (Sunday). It was June's treat. I hesitated to order the JD steak, well looking at the price it was rather expensive. So I opt for another NY steak instead. No regrets for it, but I still think that Tony Roma's better. Before dinner, my sisters and I headed to Big Apple to redeem our free donuts. There was four of us including my sisters boyfriend. So to make things easier, we presented FOUR coupons at a go and they 'rejected.' They said, we should all individually present the coupon. I think that's rather retarded, what freaking difference does it make? Anyway, we only had dinner at Fridays because June had a RM100 voucher, so yeah. Those big apple coupons came from June too. Haha.
So after dinner while they walk around, I went to Rock Corner just to look around. Came to my surprise I came across a lot of good music there. Every time I go to Parade's Rock Corner, they must be playing some damn good music. The last time I was there I discovered bossa nova! This time around I came across this duo named "M.Y.M.P" which also stands for "Make Your Momma Proud" with their new album "Absolute Acoustic." I heard a few tracks while I was there, not bad I told myself. I came home googleing for them and found a few sites which has their albums, in fact those sites also have a lot of bossa nova and jazz albums! Luther Vandross, Olivia Ong and other compilation albums for bossa nova and jazz. I probably will spend a few days exploring the site to listen to the music. ;D
Anyhooow, D200 no longer exist now. I didn't even had a chance to say bye! Its Nikon D90 for now. Live view is somehow interesting, but it makes the whole camera less professional! Haha, just my point of view. Anyway, there's new things to learn then. But I wasn't really happy nor excited when I saw this coming. In fact I felt, worried.
I am worried for my education. Education is definitely not cheap. Every intake, they probably mark up at least 2k from the previous price. Do they teach us with gold? Why is education so expensive?!
Like I've mentioned before, I haven't found any suitable college to enroll for. I have yet to enroll for my driving course. I can't survey on colleges because I can't drive and everyone is working. So I really can't decide. And all this has become a burden to me and its stressing me out. :(
Anyway, I spent the whole day watching "Love is Not Blind." I know I am always the out dated one, I have the habit of watching all at a go instead of waiting for one episode every week. So that explains why I am always a tad bit later than the usuals ;D Call me extraordinary! Haha!
Okay, I find this posting rather messy. I better stop before it continues any further.
No, I am not turning into a fashion blogger! I just don't like postings with pure writing and no sight of pictures. Because pictures = colour. Colour = happiness. Doesn't make sense, I know ;D Well, please forgive a worried girl.
ps:/ I swear I miss you like no one ever did. (: * if only you're reading this :(
I got over my results already. Though I think I might have disappointed some people, but I think I've done my best and I have no regrets. I should be looking forward to a better tomorrow. But instead I am having a hard time thinking of which college I should attend. College fees are superbly expensive!
I know not all expensive colleges can assure me to good education! But they have their standards. And I don't want to go to a cheap college and then graduate with a not so good cert and don't get a better job opportunity!
Of course all college students is studying for one reason. To have a better and brighter future. I know here's the part that I'd say not all graduates can be successful! Not all graduates will have a job opportunity. But still, I wanna graduate. I know I am probably thinking a little too far looking at the fact that I haven't even enroll for college. But people always say its good to think one step ahead.
College also reminds me that I haven't took up any driving course yet and you'll see me walking to college if I ever make it into college! There's so much to do! But it seems like there's not much time to spare! I better get all this things done!
I am going to sleep, looking at how early it is. So okay, bless me with a dream so that I can decide which college I should go to please. ;D
Sitting here for five freaking minutes and I totally have no idea what to blog about!
*tik tok tik tok*
Another 10 minutes gone.
Hmmmm. I guess there's really nothing interesting going through my life lately. Its always the daily routines!
*tik tok tik tok*
Another 5 minutes! Gahhh! I am just blankkkkk!
I am wanting a pair of oxfords btw. And I am looking forward to see a change in myself. Yeah, you've heard this gazillion times! But give me a break will you? Hahahah! ;P
Okayy byeeee! I'll find better things to blog soon! ;D
Well, I don't think I am anyhow good with titles. So the first would be the last at the moment. ;D Anyway, due to self agreement towards "satisfying" results. I am gonna treat myself! :P I dont know to what yet, probably to a pair of shoes. :D
My sister who works in a perfume/cosmetic company often brings bag magazines! Its not your ordinary Cleo, Seventeen or anything. But those which have all the branded goods. Everytime I flip through the magazine, it makes me drool!
Booties too die for.
Yeah call me outdated because I only started liking Oxfords recently. Oh well, Imma shop shop shop! ;D Till I drop! Can I have a pair please?
I'm rather out of words today.
I don't usually have a title for each and every of my post. This is my first title. Well today is the day which all the form 5, year 08 has been waiting for. The day that results are announced and of course I only started to fret, 5 minutes before reaching school.
Automatically woke up at 7.45 am today. Mind you, I usually wake up at 2pm! Upon waking up, there sat a message waiting to be read! (: Good enough to make my morning. ;P
Headed off to Fana's place and she actually insisted to go at 9.30am! I swear that for the past two days she was already freaking out and couldn't stop complaining about how bad her results would be. While me, got freaked out by her! I remember me not doing so well for English because I wrote a bunch of nonsense for my essay! Talking about my "perfect husband." So as I was saying, she was getting on my very last nerve! I couldn't stop replying the same ol' thing to her, which only says "RILEK!"
The situation was not overwhelming as some of the students start getting their results and they started shouting. Be it in joy or pain. While for me, while they were getting their slips, I already saw mine. Obviously its full with beautiful colours! :D I am overwhelmed because all my hard work ie; extra tuition's and late night oil burning was NOT worth it. :P HAHAHA, I am sure by now you get to picture how does my slip looks like. Well, if you dont then you can start banging your head against the wall. :D
I remembered how hard I actually tried my best for SPM. I constantly had my friends over for group study, not forgetting driving Pn.Fong up the wall. I miss the times where she goes with her husky voice and says "Haiiiiiyah, gurllllll. Wrong laaaaaaaa." But she educated me well, I did better than ever! But I guess, tomorrow I'd be thinking about college and nothing near the results I got for SPM. After all, I already forgotten what I got for PMR. ;D
Its celebrations tonight. Every burden I used to carry before and after SPM is off my shoulders now. :D
Today is misery, tonight is luxury, tomorrow is HISTORY. (:
I somehow feel that my interest towards acting is growing! Yes, I love acting! But never given nor have I found any chance for me to actually take part! A lot of my interest is growing! Including photography. I know I am not a very good at taking pictures, but I guess I will be saying the most cliche phrase now. Practice makes perfect? ;P
My friends from NS are finally back! Can't wait to hear from them! Definitely can't wait to see them bald! Hahaha! But on the other hand results will be out in less than 24 hours now! It has been the topic of the week! The facebook community is talking about it! And so is every one I know! Thanks for everyone's blessings! Oh well, don't fret. I hope I will do good ;D
Its time to think out of the box? ;P
After I've resigned from work, I hardly go shopping. Wait in fact I hardly go out! Hahah! Went to Pyramid with Fana today. Watched "Marley and Me." I must say its one good movie. At the beginning of the movie it was alright, pretty interesting. But then at one point, I was actually waiting for it to end! But towards the end, it got all touching and made probably half of the people in the cinema to start sobbing!. Be it if you're an animal lover or not, its good! :D
Too bad in the middle of the movie, there was a pretty uncivilised couple who was actually sitting in the same row as us! Phone rang a few times, but still don't know how to put it on silent. In fact he actually answered the call and he didn't whisper but spoke as if he owned the whole theatre. FOR A FEW TIMES! Now this reminds me of the Digi ad!
Anyhoooow, SPM results are out on Thursday! I have no idea what to expect from it because obviously I've never been there before! Well and obviously I am not expecting very good results! Duh, its me you're talking about! I'll just pray for the best (:
Boo you whore. Hahaha, I am a malfunctioning machine in Genting. And I am also a malfunctioning machine who doesnt know how to spell malfunctioning. Its our inside story between me and my cousins. It funny how we got into this. All because I starter sneazing! Hahah!
Before leaving to Genting today, stopped by at OU to get some stuff. Checked out those MB casing and hell they are blood suckers. I don't understand why do they charge so much just for a plastic casing! Pft.
Anyway, basically every one is still awake now and the parents, aunties and uncles are all mahjong-ing while I try to adapt how do they play professionally. Hahaha! Lots to learn! :P At the same time, i get to online because i have maxis broadband! Hahaha, cures boredom you know!
More fun tomorrow! Gonna play golf! Wee! Goodnightt !
Have you ever thought that you're not good enough for someone? I know I've gone through this topic for gazillion times. But I can't help it that I keep thinking that I am not good enough for him. I know probably half of the world is already bored with this topic coming from me. But I just don't know what more is there left to do!
Pft, sometimes I wish I could be an actress in a movie where miracles happen. Where things will turn the other way round when you wish it would. And genie's appear for you to make a wish come true. Or perhaps, there's this one person who would always be there to help you.
Hahah, I guess I've been watching a little too much drama! I started watching "Miss No Good" today. Yeah, call me slow, but I didn't had time. I'm already at the 7
th episode.
Boyyyyy, its funny and I couldn't stop laughing!
Hahaha!
Can't wait to complete it!
Hahaha! Although I really cannot stand
Rainie's voice, but yeah! Its entertaining. And
Wilber Pan looks superbly gorgeous. Not forgetting both of the supporting cast! Equally hot! :D
Yaya, you
dont know what am I talking about.
kiak kiak kiak! :P
I'm going
Genting later with the family. :D Hoping for fun! :D
I like this picture!
Let's not think too much. Strive for the better. :D
It seems like the whole facebook community is talking about how good Jason Mraz was!
It actually took me a while to start writing. I don't know where to begin or how to start. Usually this would come from someone who has a lot to write. But in my case, I have nothing to say at all. All out of words. I don't know how to explain how I am feeling.
Its been an hour now. I am still here. Haha! I am serious! Not exaggerating!
Oh well, let the pictures entertain you today! :)
I think I look damn cute here! HAHA!
I remember I got sad over something and my parents still forced me to take a picture, hence the sad face! Cameron Highlands I think.
Dont remember where. :P
Langkawi! 2000! I was 9 years old then! Black sand beach or some sort!
apple baby!
Pft. I've missed out my one in a million chance. Got called to a casting but failed miserably at attending. I had no voice to go for it, and at my second thought I said to myself that I still can try. Too bad, it was already too late. My mom was too busy to bring me over. I still hope that they will look up my profile when there are other offers! (; Or not I'll just work harder.
You've guessed it right, I have been jobless for a month now and I've did nothing either than just hanging around and playing the piano! Didn't take the initiative to go for driving lessons! There's a car waiting for me, but the license is still undone! Before I graduated from high school, I told myself I'd take up driving lessons right after everything was over. But I guess, as time goes by I got lazy! Now as always, I am still depending people to bring me here and there. Gah, better start driving before I start dieing! :P
Anyway I've tried blogging everyday and even tried to include pictures everyday. So here's some which I found in a random folder of mine. Baby pictures of me!
Lol, how can such a cute little baby turn into a monster like me!? Hahah, okay you can start laughing at my statement! :p
It was a false alarm.
It took me by surprise that I actually am starting to like this blog skin pretty much! I was complaining about how I cant find nice blog skins, but I guess it just took a little patient to get a good one. (; What do you think about this blog skin? ;D
And I just realised that the previous both postings were posted at the same time, just that one was at 4:56am and another was 4:56pm! Hahah, talking about coincidence huh! ;D
You know with all the free time I have, I've been thinking a lot. I know if I don't get out of this shell that I am hiding in, I won't be going anywhere. I guess I've gotta learn to actually appreciate myself so that people would appreciate me. You know what they say, "if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to love another." Its probably like that. (; I've gotta learn.
A random picture of me and Julio. Met him the other day at the showcase. Was pretty surprised to have met him there but come to think about it, the opening act was his friend. So i guess nothing so surprising afterall! ;P
I know that you know now.
At this hour of the day, I've just taken breakfast. Nope, you don't have to scrub your eyes because you've seen it right. Its about 5pm now. I woke up about 2pm and then gotten very interested with a text message. Hahah! Came to my surprise, I was right all this while! From the very beginning till now. :P
Right now, I am actually craving for Jalan Alor's W.A.W! Grilled fish! Fried Lala & grilled chicken wings! Omg, sounds like heaven? Lol! Someone bring me please? :P Well, I don't know what more good dishes is there, but for now all this is already good enough. Okay, enough of imagining. Sigh, my daily routine is a bore! Gah, help me please SOMEONE.
I'm gonna go watch slumdog millionHAIR now. (;
Late, wait. Early, voiceless and not tired could only lead to one thing. Which happens to be boredom! Pft, well there isn't much for me to do.
I love this picture can?
All I could say, yesterday's showcase was awesome blossom! He did it perfectly and it was coooool! He belted out wonderful songs which included Jazz and Bossa Nova! It was just too great to be even described. To those who missed Danell's showcase, you've just missed out some good music.
He sang all together 17 freaking songs. He changed one of his hit song to a Bossa nova track. I must say it sounded really special, different and good. His whole showcase was enjoyable and relaxing. Other songs are ; Summer Time, Fever, Misty, Dia, Sinara, Girl from Ipanema, Bleeding Love, Can't Take My Eyes of You and Say a Little Prayer.
All in all, it was a great one. A very different side of him. I loved it though I hope it was longer. (; The only word which often came out from everyone's mouth after the showcase was "cooool~!"
Voice, please come back. );
